Refusing The Squishmallow a Lift
Change is hard, especially when you're bringing other people with you.
We jump in the car, saving ourselves an hour on the buses and at least 15 minutes of walking.
Once there, I leave my eight-year-old at the Fun Day and jump in my car again, saving myself another hour, and possibly 13 minutes of walking.
At home, I get through my very sedentary to-do list. Meanwhile, my daughter has six hours of fun.
I jump in the car again to pick her up and take her to a playdate.
Then my daughter makes the most bizarre request. She asks me to fetch her a Squishmallow from home - after dropping her off to her playdate - and deliver it to her friend’s home!
I thought she was joking.
Me: No way. First of all - the cost of the petrol*! And second - the environment.
She protests.
Me: (in my preachy voice) We already burnt enough petrol today. You know, we should have taken the bus this morning…
Her: Well, take the bus then!
She means take her to her friend’s house and go home by car, then collect the toy and bring it by bus to her friend’s house. Half-an-hour each way by bus.
Me: No way. That would take too much time.
She continues to grumble.
Me: I see you have no respect for my time.
She claims she’ll cry all the way to her friend’s house. I tell her she has no respect for my peace of mind as well as my time. But we both know neither of us is completely serious here. She soon stops fussing and starts listening to my back-in-times playlist.
Why didn’t we take the bus that morning?
There were three obstacles.
We went to bed late, so waking up earlier would have been hard.
My daughter would rather we drive, so she can read her book and have quality time with Mummy. On the way there we played Guess The Animal and made up a story together, taking turns, sentence by sentence. We were proud of that story, but I know she’d be too self-conscious to play those games on the bus.
Driving less is important. What could we have done differently to make going by bus more likely?
Making a firm decision the night before that we were setting out by bus.
Then going to bed earlier and waking earlier.
How to deal with resistance from a passionate little girl who’d rather burn some petrol and relax, than catch buses and walk?
Here’s my proposed script:
“If you’re ready on time, we go by bus. If you’re not ready on time we don’t go at all.”
I know. I haven’t thought of a carrot. There’s no reward for her here. But should there be one? For me, burning less petrol is satisfying enough. But she’s not me. Daughters sometimes turn into their mums, but never when they’re eight.
I’m thinking of stepping things up a bit. Finding age-appropriate videos on YouTube to explain why we’re doing things differently. She understands burning petrol is bad for the environment, but she’s been very resistant to getting into details. What does she know? What does she not know? How much should she know? Maybe the right videos will get me the buy-in I want.
Because I don’t really think there should be a carrot here.
And then, I’m being a little dishonest with you. I said there were three obstacles. Here’s the third: I preferred to go by car, because a 90-minute commute, repeated four times in one day is a full six hours of my time.
By bus, my daughter spends six hours having fun on site and I spend six hours getting her there, getting back home, picking her up, and getting us both home again.
The most satisfactory solution would have been to find a more local activity for those six hours!
Dear Human of Planet Earth,
Let’s look at the figures.
*Cost of petrol last time I filled up: £81.46 to fill up with 48.8 litres.
I’ll be using Mike Berners-Lee’s estimate for the greenhouse gas effect of driving a mile in a typical petrol-fuelled UK car as 530g CO2e.**
Distance from home to Fun Day in West Wickham: 6.8 miles.
Estimated emissions from driving to the Fun Day and back, for drop off and pick up: 6.8x4x530 = 14, 416 CO2e or 14 kg.
Distance from home to Play Date at friend’s house: 2.5 miles.
Estimated emissions saved by not giving the Squishymallow a lift to join the playdate: 2.5x2x530= 2, 650 CO2e or 2.65kg.
What about the carbon impact of this email? That’s kind of up to you. If my letter can motivate you to drive a bit less, or car-share more, or pick up cycling or walking for your local errands, maybe its net impact will be green?
With Love,
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Radical,
Writing from Croydon, London,
On that patch of earth known as The United Kingdom,
Lat. +51.51 Long. -0.118
PS **The ‘e’ in CO2e stands for ‘equivalent.’ In How Bad Are Bananas? Mike Berners-Lee reminds us that different greenhouse gases have different effects. eg methane is more potent but breaks down faster than carbon dioxide, versus carbon dioxide which has a less potent greenhouse effect in the short-term but an impact over a longer period of time. He uses the CO2e as a unit to measure the impact expressed in terms of the effect CO2 would have over a 100-year period. Think of it like finding a common language to work with, when greenhouse gases speak in different tongues.
